- Do I listen more than I talk? Or am I talking more than I am listening?
- Do I keep myself sensitive and open to a person’s issues, whatever they may be? Or am I talking about what I think the problem is?
- Do I invite a person to talk about and explore their own feelings for change? Or am I jumping to conclusions and possible solutions?
- Do I encourage a person to talk about their reasons for not changing? Or am I forcing them to talk only about change?

- Do I ask permission to give my feedback? Or am I presuming that my ideas are what they want to hear?
- Do I reassure a person that ambivalence to change is normal? Or am I telling them to take action and push ahead for a solution?
- Do I help a person identify successes and challenges from their past and relate them to present change effects? Or am I encouraging them to ignore or get stuck on old stories?
- Do I seek to understand a person? Or am I spending a lot of time trying to convince them to understand me and my ideas?

- Do I summarise for a person what I am hearing? Or am I just summarising what I think?
- Do I value a person’s opinion more than my own? Or am I giving more value to my viewpoint?
- Do I remind myself that a person is capable of making their own choices? Or am I assuming that they are not capable of making good choices?

